Most of us are in that point in our lives where we feel like we can do anything. We feel like we can take on a lot of work and we will still be okay. We say yes to just about everything that gets thrown in our path and if our to-do lists gets too long, we just try to trust and believe that we will get through everything. Eventually. Most of the people I know have been living like that for quite some time now but it was just a few months ago when I realized that I don't always have to say say "yes."

     After some time I realized that I am constantly overwhelmed by the amount of things I have to accomplish and it is all because I want to do everything all at the same time because it feels possible; and it is possible, don't get me wrong, but now I see that there are definitely many more factors that I have to evaluate and weigh before I should take on any more tasks in the near future.

     Deciding when the the right time to say "yes" or "no" is always hard so I made a small list of some of the things you should think about and consider when you're faced with some decisions.

KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES
     Everyone has a different set of priorities. Some might value their family more, others might value their academics more, others might value their extra-curricular activities more, and so on. But what matters here is that you know what your priorities are because in the end, it's you who will do the tasks and it's you who will have to live with the consequences of your actions, not other people. Take them into consideration but never make them the deciding factor.

KNOW WHEN TO SAY "YES" AND "NO"
     This is easier said than done, I know. We are constantly presented with many open doors full of potential and opportunities and they all feel or sound good until you actually have to do the work required to get them. When you are presented with a wonderful opportunity, try to take a step back and analyze things first. Ask yourself these questions:
     Will this opportunity help or guide me to wherever I want to go to in the future?
     Will this help me become a better person?
     Is it in line with my priorities?
     Will my other tasks be compromised if I say yes to this?
     Will this positively or negatively affect me and the people around me?
     There are many more factors that you should take in before you immediately say "yes" or "no" to something but you can start with these questions. When you know when to say "yes" or "no" to something, you won't feel as burdened about your decisions because you've actually thought about it.

IT'S OKAY TO SAY "NO"
     I never want to say no when I am offered with a great opportunity but now I realize that it will lead to my downfall if I don't learn to say it more often. My other tasks will be compromised and it may lead to more emotional, mental, or physical exhaustion and breakdowns and I don't want to experience any more of those. It's hard but sometimes you really just have to say "no" for your own good so don't feel too bad if you do so.

IF YOU DO SAY "YES", MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT
     If you do decide to say "yes" to an opportunity, make sure you follow through with it. You've deemed this opportunity as something worthy of your precious time so make sure that you actually give it your all and perform to the best of your abilities. Don't hand in some half-assed work just because you have to pass something. Learn the very difficult art of time management and finish your tasks. If you really want to accomplish something, you can do it. Stop making excuses.

     Every decision and choice you make has the power to make or break you so make sure that everything is well thought of or at least make sure you're confident enough to be able to deal with whatever consequences you might face. Always remember that you don't have to go through all the open doors you're presented with! Sometimes closing some of them will bring you closer to wherever it is you want to be.

- Marian Plaza
click the photo for the source
cover photo by Shura

     In an isolated village in the Dominican Republic back in the 1970s, Dr. Julianne Imperato investigated on some children who were girls at birth but turned into boys once they reached puberty. These children were called guevedoces, which literally translates to "penis at age 12" or machihembras which means "first women, then man." Through further study, they found out that these children were actually male psuedohermaphrodites or children that were born with female primary sex characteristics but later on developed male secondary sex characteristics at puberty. This is just one of the many cases of what we now call as intersex.

     No, these are not people who automatically have a vagina and a penis or what we call a hermaphrodite, although they also fall into this category. There are eight variables of gender and 6  of them fall under the biological aspect; namely: chromosomal, gonadal, prenatal hormonal and neonatal brain differentiation, internal organs, external genital appearance, and pubertal hormonal gender; so a person can have either a vagina or a penis yet they can have chromosomes that do not align with their genitals or they can produce more estrogen despite having a penis - the situation varies.

     These variables of gender are being used to identify newborns as either male or female, but one thing we have to understand is that there are people who are born as neither male nor female and they fall into the category called intersex. The Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) defines intersex as "a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male." Although we do not hear much about this, it is actually more common than we think. A study by Anne Fausto-Sterling, a researcher from Brown University, concluded that 1 in 100 people are being born "whose bodies differ from standard male or female bodies" and approximately 2 in 1,000 people are "receiving surgery to "normalize" their genital appearance," and that is just the people with the physical differences - there are also some cases in which the person does not know they are intersex until adulthood.
    
    Now, why are these people and babies, sometimes unknowingly, being forced to undergo medical procedures to fit in our two sex/gender dominated society? Why aren't we hearing much about this? Children all over the world are getting surgeries before they can even utter a word because how they came out of the womb is deemed unacceptable by societal standards. Gender is actually being measured by the size of a child's clitoris or penis and that is very problematic also because this decision will forever affect the child and how that child will turn out in the future. We have to start acknowledging that in our world, there are more than two genders and sexes. Do not let the doctors and what other people deem as normal compartmentalize human beings as only male or female - there are more than two genders.

     From overly sexualized TV commercials to blatantly putting naked bodies on the front page of certain reading materials, we cannot deny that wherever we go, we can easily see proof of the objectification of bodies of people. Through some elements both on print and online, certain aspects of the human body and how it is perceived has changed for the worse and has become more of a source of income than something that should be respected.

     A lot of other problems have stemmed through this: like how people see themselves and their own bodies and how people present themselves in public. Some women, for example, have burdened themselves with the thought that if they achieved some physical expectation set by the people behind these marketing techniques, they will be more accepted and loved. Some women would also go to the extent of adjusting their whole wardrobe and how they generally feel about things just to feel better about themselves. These are problems because some things, like certain body parts and the human body in general, have been reduced to existing for the sake of someone else's pleasure or benefit and not as a person's own body.

     A few months ago, Caitlin Stasey, a firm believer of equality and women empowerment, put up a website called Herself. In this website, women from different places and walks of life come together to 'reclaim their bodies'. They pose naked, in their truest, most vulnerable forms, and each entry is accompanied by the insights and stories of each woman featured.

     Herself aims to provide a platform for women everywhere to be more than what is being shown on TV or on the internet. It aims to show that women everywhere are more than their breasts and their vagina and their other body parts. There are more to women than their bodies and they should not allow themselves to be enslaved by what they see in the mass media or by what other people are telling them.

     Your bodies are not for someone else's pleasure or enjoyment. It's time to reclaim your bodies.

Know more about Herself!
Website | Twitter

     Girl Gang is a weekly meeting that Kate first held in her garage. By rounding up a group of like-minded girls around her area, they created a strong group of individuals who discuss different issues and beliefs and in the process, empower each other to become better. Through the songs and videos they post on their Youtube channel and various social media accounts, the members of Girl Gang get to express themselves and show the world the things they do and advocate.

     After a few months, Girl Gang meetings are not just limited to the confines of Kate's garage. People of all gender from all over the world have come together in their own neighborhoods and started their own Girl Gang meetings - all done with the help of social media.

     Kate Nash is one of the many artists who utilize what they have and where they are to connect with other people and do their best to help out in the various causes and issues happening around the world. Through music and social media, Kate Nash was able to bring something similar to the 90's Riot Grrrl movement into the 21st century and consequently, giving people a new way to express themselves and you can join too!

Be a part of the GIRL GANG!
Website | Youtube | Facebook

Know more about Kate!
Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

- Marian Plaza
click photos for sources

References: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

     When all the things you see around you are manifestations of how amazing and awesome other countries are or how they're all better off than you'll ever be, especially because it seems like your country is always bombarded with an endless string of problems year after year after year, then no one can really blame you if you have these unexplained feelings of resentment and maybe even hate towards the place where you are right now. 

     Just this past year, I got to have some discussions and dialogues with several people who made me think. Ever since I was 12 my mind has been set on how ready I was to leave these all behind for something greater, something that i can only find in other countries. I'm usually neutral about a lot of things but when it comes to opportunities and living abroad, you expect that i will have a lot of things to say about it: how awesome it would be, how life can be so much better if my parents actually pushed through with migrating to another country when i was in the second grade, how our lives would be helluva lot easier if only we were given more opportunities than what we are currently experiencing here; but after several weeks and months of thinking things through and reflecting on some of the things i thought were right and true, i realized just how sad and insulting my beliefs were. To some degree, my reasons about leaving the country as soon as possible were relatively valid and they make sense, but at the same time, it's basically just me trying to flee from my reality and being ungrateful and close minded about all the efforts of the people around me. I thought sure, my thoughts were greatly influenced by the events and people that surrounded me on a daily basis for a long time but when I tried to open my eyes a little more, things started to make sense. The Philippines, my hometown, has so much to offer and more.

     Despite the large array of shows and commercials in the media showing how much everything sucks here, how everything is so much better outside, how great it would be if we looked a certain way, and how cool we will be if we support certain products, once you've caught a glimpse of the unique little gems the country has to offer, everything will start to look different.

THE MUSIC
     I'm sad that I let the opinion of others about some things, like the Philippine music scene, influence me while growing up. I grew up surrounded by this unspoken agreement that listening to OPM is not cool and it's something you shouldn't even consider. I honestly don't know where that came from but it seems like every time a Filipino song is brought up, it wasn't really taken seriously and sometimes it's just considered as a joke. This is fucking shame if you ask me now because once I got out of that place, and I actually tried listening to some chosen OPM songs, I immediately got hooked. The songs were catchy and some were just a masterpiece that i couldn't get enough of. I also started to notice how you won't really get to see and hear these songs because it's not as shown as other more profitable songs that don't even hold a candle next to some OPM masterpieces.

THE PLACES
     It seems like the wanderlust bug has bitten a lot of people lately and I'm pretty sure a lot of people have been looking through lists of all the places they can go to, the world is your oyster after all. When you go online, left and right, you'll see millions of photos and posts about how cheap some countries actually are if you want to visit and how amazing the world is and the chances of you getting out there have increased since you can literally do everything with the help of all the travelling guides and apps out there. The world is definitely massive and with the hundreds of places and countries anyone can visit, you can easily get overwhelmed with all the opportunities. If that is your problem right now, try narrowing your options down to your continent, heck narrow it down to your country. While doing my own research, I found out that even if the Philippines is smaller than most countries out there, our undeniably beautiful and fascinating tourist destinations don't just stop at Boracay, Palawan, and the Banaue Rice Terraces. Have you seen the beaches of Camiguin? The Bangui Wind Farm in Ilocos? The Palo Alto falls in Rizal? There's so many more hidden gems around the country, try to include those in your travel-the-world plan.

THE MEDIA
     I didn't particularly like the things I see on my TV screen. I hate how everyone was being portrayed on TV and how people react to certain "shallow" things (like those celebrity marriages that the news can't seem to get enough of that they just have to put it on every news outlet). After I got over some of my teenage angst and tried to analyze what made me dislike most of things I see, I realized that it's all business; everything is literally all about that cash. I thought maybe if we all just try to take a step back and see how the things we're seeing on our screens are mostly just ploys to get us to willingly hand our money to other people, we will be able to clearly see that everything they show are just things controlled by other people, people just like us, people we interact with. This made me question a lot of things and prompted me to do more research about the things I see around me. Don't be fooled by what you see around you, don't be fooled into believing that everything you see on the screen is true; I would strongly suggest that you do your own research. Don't let some money making machine make you think that the people around you suck so much that you will reach a point where you resent everyone around you and you will just try to do your best to get away from them.

     These are just some of the points that made me rethink about everything I felt before; but after this will I still leave the country? Yes, I probably will. I would still want to go out there and experience the world and see all the amazing sights and meet new people; but this does not mean that while I'm out there I will continuously hate on what I left behind and I won't come back and give back whenever I possibly can. We're all still young and the world is so big and there are so many opportunities available for everyone now but this should not stop us from sharing more about how awesome our country is to everyone else. Going out and exploring the world while finding yourself in all those places you want to go to should not stop us from appreciating the things we can see in our country too. All the bad press and exposures the country gets shouldn't stop us from seeing what is really happening around us and it also shouldn't discourage us from trying to make things better, because no matter how many times your parents have told you this, "everything starts with you." Once you've seen how awesome the Philippines is, try to do your best so that everyone around you can also see how awesome you think your country is. Don't let petty opinions and headlines tell you otherwise.

     Loving your country does not necessarily mean you have to go all patriotic and sacrifice your life in the name of the people; sometimes by simply appreciating the people that surrounds you and taking care of the places around you is a good start. 

- Marian Plaza
illustration by Frances Seno

     
   Travelling the world is one of the best things a person can do in their lifetime; it entails a lot of work, but all of the new experiences and lessons that can be gained through it is priceless. But when people do get to travel, most of the time, they tend to overestimate the amount of places they can visit and the things they can do in a short amount of time that they forget to stop and absorb their new surroundings or even document it for posterity.

     Merphi Panaguiton is a travel and lifestyle blogger from Manila, Philippines. This well-traveled 20 year old treats each and every journey as a new way to improve her spiritual growth and her outlook in life. She also meticulously documents all her travels with her trusted camera and iPhone. Her works have garnered quite a following since she relaunched her blog, The Kind Universe. Her stunning photographs and classy fashion sense are just definitely some of the reasons why she's our July Girl Of The Month.

Was pursuing a career in photography something you've always wanted as a child, or is it something you discovered later on in life?

Merphie: I only discovered my love for photography before entering college (about 4 years ago).  I never dreamed of becoming a photographer when I was a child because I originally wanted to become a musician – to become a violinist to be exact.

Do you take a photo of a scene from where you're naturally standing or do you walk around to find the best angle?

M: Most of the time I  take  photos of a scene from where I’m naturally standing most especially when I am part of a tour wherein everything happens too fast – we cannot stay for a longer period of time on some places. However, when I’m given the opportunity to take my time while in a certain place, I make sure to invest my time to move around and look for the best angle.

Where would you say is the most picturesque place (local and foreign) you've been to?

M: Two of the most picturesque places I’ve been to are Paris (foreign) and Bohol (local).  Every corner of Paris was just too beautiful! I’m probably saying this because I’ve always wanted to see Paris and I’m so grateful my dream came true 3 months ago. I have to be honest that I’ve only been to a few places here in the Philippines. I have been to Bohol 7 years ago and I think it is the most picturesque place I’ve been to so far in the Philippines. I am really hoping to be able to visit more local places soon!

If you could only use one camera for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

M: I would probably use the camera I own right now: my  4-year-old Canon 550D. It is because it already became a big part of who I am today.  It has been to different places already (there even came a time when I brought it every single day despite its heavy weight) and I know I can always trust my camera. I am also very grateful for my 550D because it helped me meet a lot of amazing people and build new friendships. 

Aside from taking photos, what's your favorite thing to do when you're in a new country?

M: I try to be mindful of everything – I remind myself from time to time that I’m in a new place which also means I’m completely out of my comfort zone.  Basically, a favorite habit of mine when traveling is observing the whole new environment I’m currently in. This includes observing people just being themselves and realizing that I am so blessed to encounter those strangers. This is a favorite activity for me because I tend to relax and just live in the moment. As a result, I get to enjoy more of the places I go to and not just simply let time fly. 

Are you a planned out traveler or do you like going to different places/doing things at your own pace?

M: I think I can say I’m a mixture of both since I travel most of the time with my parents and my sister -- meaning our trips are usually planned out but at the same time we try our best to do things at our own pace. An exception would be our recent trip to Europe because we were part of a tour so everything was well planned out. 

Do you think traveling is a luxury or a necessity?

M: Traveling for me contributes to my spiritual growth. Having that said, I see it more as a necessity.  I see traveling as a big part of my journey in this life and I consider it as one of the greatest forms of education. 

What are some of the best things you've learned from your travels?

M: Possibly, I learn hundreds or even thousands of things every time I travel so I would just share the 3 best things I have learned:

1. Embracing uncertainty. This learning includes living in the present moment and just simply enjoying every single thing. Everything is new every time I travel so the challenge for me is to just focus on the things I see, hear, smell, taste and feel right at that moment.

2. Appreciating people. Every time I travel, it is inevitable to meet people who have different perceptions of life since every place has its own culture. With that, I have learned how to deal with different kinds of people from all over the world. I have also learned how to build long lasting relationships with some friends I have met from trips. It really feels good to make new friends because I realized that God brought them to my life for a reason.

3. Being grateful for everything I have.  Traveling made me realize that I should stop taking things for granted. There are so many things to be grateful for and the quantity of those things doubles whenever I travel.  God’s creations are too beautiful and I think it is unfair if I would just take those things for granted.

Know more about Merphi and her works on these sites!
Tumblr | Facebook | Instagram | Flickr | Society6

- Marian Plaza
P.S. Thank you to the lovely Merphi for taking the time to send us her answers and works!
All photos courtesy of Merphi Panaguiton

     As defined by Dictionary.Reference.com, Laws are "the principles and regulations established in a community by some authority and applicable to its people, whether in the form of legislation or of custom and policies recognized and enforced by judicial decision." Laws are there to keep everyone in check and to maintain peace and order.

     The laws that are being followed in every country vary based on their culture and beliefs; and the countries in the continent of Europe happen to have some of the most bizarre laws out there. Here are some of them:

- Ana Matti & Marian Plaza
sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

     In this day and age, it still takes me by surprise when someone starts talking about sexual intercourse, kinky sex, or just sex in general; and then someone will audibly gasp followed by a very surprised comment about how "OMG WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT SEX IN PUBLIC?".

     The act of having sexual intercourse, masturbation, porn, orgasms, BDSM, toys, and many more has become such a taboo topic in today's society that it is already ridiculous. Yes, these things are normal; people do these things everyday, big surprise. It's not only that; believe it or not, there are different types of sex - people have different preferences and it can range from having no sex at all to vanilla sex to hardcore kinky sex.

     It may surprise people at first that these things are actually natural occurrences and that it has been happening for a long time now (Yes, it did not just appear out of the blue after that "hardcore" sex book was published and scored a spot at the New York Times Bestseller book list).

     A couple of months ago, I was having a conversation with someone and for some reason and we ended up talking about sex and all the things attached to it. To my surprise, this 18 year-old-boy looks at me incredulously and asks, “people talk about these things in public?! Girls talk about these things?”. I stared at him for a good one minute before I said that yes, people talk about these things in public. Girls talk about these things in public.

     It is okay if you are uncomfortable when other people talk about sex – that is totally understandable. But once you start acting as if talking about this topic makes the person talking brazen and insensitive, then I think that means that you need a good wakeup call or a small shove so that you can realize that it is okay to talk about these things. Talking about sex in public (as long as you know that you are not making someone very uncomfortable) does not make you someone  who is just horny or who wants to get attention. It is okay to be curious and to voice these things out loud. If someone doesn’t want to listen to you then they are free to go somewhere else and not listen to you – it’s okay.

     Sex is a normal topic nowadays, giving it special attention when the topic is brought up only makes it more taboo and that will only lead to more ridiculous reactions when someone even says the word sex – and that is totally unnecessary. Living in a world with one less taboo topic will surely be nicer than having someone flinch every time someone so much as says the word blowjob. 

     So let’s start right now:

- Marian Plaza
click photo for source

Here's an awkward video of some of us ranting.

     It's that time of the year again! No, I'm not talking about last week's Thanksgiving; I'm talking about the day after that! With all the holidays we celebrate every year, I noticed that this is the only holiday where people go beyond mad trying to get the best purchase. People actually line up outside stores days before so that they can be the first one to enter the shop and hopefully be the first one to find the much coveted item. These lines may or may not extend to the next block as well.

     But it's the cyber age so who wants to move, right? Internet shopping has been all the rage this year and the beloved Black Friday sale is no exception. Instead of lining up for hours, people now make sure that their internet connection is secure and have their credit card numbers memorized before they stay in front of their laptops/PCs, immobile,  waiting for the clock to turn a certain hour before they start clicking away!

     Most people prefer online shopping than actually going out there in the battlefield also because Black Friday sales mostly apply to American stores only...so that means the rest of the world will have to settle with online shopping...that includes me.

     I know it's not the healthiest way to de-stress myself, but shopping heals all wounds when it comes to me. Looking through endless racks of clothes and shoes and books, especially thrift shops, just makes my heart flutter like there's no tomorrow so that means the Black Friday is a holiday I definitely look forward to.

     Last year, I went through a rough patch around Thanksgiving week so of course I had to do some window shopping (that is my alternative therapy when I'm broke - and I'm broke 80% of the time). I didn't have that much ca$h and I haven't gone shopping in months so I just had to convince my parents to allow me to shop (under a budget of course.) I didn't really know how to do the convincing but then this commercial went on the TV and it showed a kid who tried to convince his parents to buy him something through a PowerPoint presentation; I though hey, why not? So I made one too!

     
     My dad just laughed at me. But that didn't stop me. I talked to him more; I told him how the band merch I wanted to buy were limited edition and all that shebang and after a while, it was another mission accomplished. I was able to purchase them. From that moment on though, I learned to save my money so now I have an Online Shopping Fund Jar which is definitely better than bothering my parents for their credit card numbers.

     This is one of my Black Friday stories. How about you? What's your crazy Black Friday story?


- Marian Plaza
P.S. Shopping is definitely one of the best things ever (all their consumerism agenda is definitely working!) but shopping or simply buying the things you really want will feel 101% more worth it if you actually saved for them. Go start your own fund jars A.S.A.P.!