You've lived your whole life trying to please the people around you and it's very tiring. It's time consuming, it's frustrating, and it has resulted to you shedding your tears over them on a weekly basis; but you don't do that as much now. You're starting to learn how to please yourself, how to do things for you, and I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of all that you've achieved because not a lot of people can get out of the chains that were used to tie them to the people around them so that the manipulative people can unconsciously make them do what they want on a whim.
Do you remember those times when you would cry yourself to sleep because you weren't able to accomplish a task that was given to you by the manipulative people around you? No, I'm not talking about your chores - you still have to do those. I'm talking about all the adjustments you had to make for these manipulating people. I'm talking about cleaning up after their mess and pacifying them whenever they would have their adult tantrums. Well, you still cry occasionally but that's okay. You're starting to learn and see that these people, although they are important to you, they don't have to dictate everything that you have to do. You don't have to shed a single tear just because you weren't able to accomplish the task to their liking. Take their insults with a grain of salt. You are worth more than the insults they throw at you.
Do you remember those times when you would distance yourself from everyone because you were deemed not good enough, both physically and mentally, by the people around you and you didn't know any better? You've outgrown that bullshit belief and now you've realized that only you can dictate how beautiful you are, inside and out. Now you've realized that you're not too dark. Your skin is yours, and it's the only one that you'll have and it is beautiful. It just so happens that you live in close proximity with people who think otherwise, but honestly, they can't have any say about that since it's not theirs to think about in the first place. You've also realized that you are smart, and that you can do things on your own! You do not need to wait on other people and whatever task they might make you do. You are your own person and you can create many beautiful things because you said so.
Do you remember those times when people would ask you how were, and you felt like someone finally cared so you would start opening up to them but they would just shut you down? Or those times when you would finally, finally, decide to put your feelings out in the open and you just wanted someone to listen but they ended up telling you that you're this and you're that, basically labeling you with shit ideals just because of what you're saying now? Completely disregarding everything that you've said and done before that moment? That happened a lot. You're now realizing that although you care the most about these people and although they care about you as well, they don't actually know shit. One wrong move from you and everything can turn bad. One wrong phrase and they can turn their backs on you. People are spontaneous and you can never really know what they might do or say in any given situation; but you know yourself. You're starting to get to know yourself, just like how it should've been, and you now know that you are the only one who you can really rely on. The people in your life have their own set of problems and sure, you can occasionally talk about your problems, but never expect to get your desired response from anyone. Only you will know what you really want and it will get confusing but that's okay, you'll figure it out. You are strong and capable of handling everything life throws at you.
You don't have to be so obsessed about what other people think about you now. It is very important to hear these people out, but it doesn't mean you automatically have to listen to them. You always have to analyze everything first before you plant it in your head or put it into action. You have to continue to learn how to rely on yourself because in the end it's really only on you. You have to live with your choices and actions, not them. Their actions and words can only really affect you if you let them. It might've taken you a lot of time and caused you a lot of pain to realize these things but that's okay. What's important is that you have realized it and being aware about it is the first step. Now you just have to figure out how to handle it, how it's going to affect you, and who you're going to allow to influence you. Just remember that at the end of the day, only you can have the power over you. It is definitely easier said than done, but it is possible.