EAT A D**K!! (NSFW)

     You’re probably too young for rated R parties (you know, those parties with a whole lot of sex and a whole lot of naked), but I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with what kind of pastries they serve. Besides the endless cocktail drinks, the loud party music, and the strippers, those kinds of parties are incomplete without some sex cakes. What are sex cakes you ask? Simple. Pastries that are either shaped like penises, boobs, butts, or vaginas. 

     Never heard of them? Well I think it’s time for us to show you some:

Dick Cakes and Pops

     Dick-shaped cakes are most commonly served during bachelorette parties as a way of saying “Congrats on marrying a guy with a seemingly large penis!” or “Yay you’re getting married! You can now have sex with him!”. There are even some YouTube videos on how to bake one, so if you want to try something new, then why not bake a penis cake? Dick pops are also served during bachelorette parties and these are usually given to guests as tokens. It may be the bride’s way of saying “Hey, I also want you guys to enjoy a penis but of course not my husband’s so here’s a dick pop instead!”

Boob and Butt Cakes

     While the ladies enjoy their penis-shaped pastries, guys on the other hand, celebrate with cakes shaped like boobs and butts. These kinds of cakes are usually given to a guy on his birthday. I'm pretty sure it's his friends idea to give him a boob/butt cake. It wouldn't seem right if his mother baked him one. Nonetheless, these cakes come with very clever sayings like “Tits your birthday!” or “Breast Wishes!”. 

Vagina Cakes and Cupcakes

       If you Google vagina cakes, you are going to find some seriously messed up cakes. Vagina cakes are usually made when the celebrant is about to give birth or has given birth. This is why a lot of those cakes have baby doll heads sticking out from the hole. I think I'm going to have nightmares. Another possible reason why vagina cakes could exist is it's for all those lesbians out there and for their bachelorette parties. It's legal now in a lot of places, so why not? Vagina cupcakes on the other hand are much cuter looking and less overwhelming than their larger counterparts.

     Although a lot of people get excited when they receive these kinds of pastries, I seriously wouldn't want to receive one. In all honesty, I find the dick cake/pop really weird and disgusting but I guess we all have our preferences. Well either way, it's still cake so why let it go to waste, right?

-Reign Gonzales
(click photos for sources)