I’ve always been interested with the idea of fashion and as a young girl, I’d dress up my dolls, buy the quirkiest of all things girly, and after learning the basics of cross-stitching in 3rd grade, do my own versions at home. All these things enveloped me like second skin so I never seemed to consider it as “career”. When asked as a child what I wanted to be, I screamed veterinarian, or chemical engineer! Come the end of middle school, I stopped dressing my dolls, stopped cross stitching, and eventually, was washed from the idea that a legitimate career in fashion was feasible - but somewhere at the back of my mind there lingered this faint belief that it was still in the bounds of reality.
When senior year finally stepped in, I took a leap of faith, and wrote a course related to fashion holding, then slowly releasing that meager possibility that I could pass into the course. When I finally was accepted into an esteemed university with the course of BS Clothing Technology, I became grateful beyond words! First day came in and as any freshman would feel, I was distraught by the idea of tripping in front of my new college mates, humiliating myself in front of the prof., or at worst being in the wrong classroom. Thank the Almighty the only bad thing that happened to me was being (reasonably) tardy. College, is yes, a totally different world from high school. But upon meeting students from the upper class coming from my course who openly stated millions of reasons why my course is the best course, I lost the feeling of being lost, of being a fish out of water, so to speak. I suddenly was filled with this rare feeling of belonging, of finally doing something proper. I was excited to jump into a choice I made.
Am I still afraid of my future? Well of course I am. The future is the haven of all things uncertain. But what’s keeping me driven to get past these fears is the dream of one day waking up and professing that this is where I choose to belong, and that is for certain.
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